Brock's 676.

1. Give your pick up line a pick me up
2. Wait no longer to exhale
3. Make carbon dioxide a little more useful for humans
4. Add some extra fertilizer to your carbon dioxide
5. Trees depend on our breath. Don’t let em down
6. Exhaling should help trees grow, not kill them.
7. Save the trees. Upgrade your carbon dioxide.
8. Add some consciousness to your unconscious process
9. Find a higher level of unconsciousness
10. Decrease the diameter of your social circle
11. Get your mouth cleaner than your dog’s for a change
12. Clean your air output
13. Because a breath check is a pure give away
14. If I was breath, I’d be all scared.
15. The alternative to that bar of soap your mom mentioned
16. Provide a better working environment for your teeth
17. It’s hard to kick game with a toothbrush in your mouth
18. The whiter the teeth, the bigger expectations
19. Without Listerine, your tongue is just a damp slimy worm in your mouth
20. Take the sting out of whistlin’ Dixie
21. Make Whistlin’ Dixie, less offensive
22. The least you can do is make the BS smell good
23. Gargling is hardly a mating call
24. Rest your jaw for more important things
25. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Because their breath proceeds the diamond.
26. Give your cotton mouth a softer texture
27. Confidence has an odor as well
28. A fresh smell can ignite the other four senses
29. Will fit in your pocket. And leave room for your condom.
30. Flavor so good you may pass out from holding your breath
31. Present your research not your lunch choices
32. Sugary mints can be fillings.
33. The jaw exercise should come from the fresh breath.
34. Receive fan mail back after licking your envelopes
35. Make your mouth less Petri like
36. Bring forth your most flattering tongue
37. You could hold your tongue. But then your fingers would stink
38. Make a slip of the tongue a shorter fall down
39. Keep the answer on the tip of your tongue
40. Boiling water can also kill as many germs.
41. So powerful, your language will be cleaner
42. An alternative those pesky tongue coverers
43. The millions of microscopic body bags sold separately
44. Breakdown communication breakdown
45. Nonverbal communication is the most important part of verbal communication
46. There’s a reason they talk behind your back and not to your face
47. Compliments shouldn’t be a tongue lashing
48. Take the tongue lashing out of your compliments
49. Sometimes there’s no glory in being the last one standing
50. “I do” shouldn’t be a deal breaker
51. Lick germs by not having to lick germs
52. Make sure your greeting isn’t a farewell
53. Greet someone without an immediate farewell
54. That SBD can leave you guilty by association
55. Inch closer to Godliness
56. Making an even finer line between Hi and goodbye
57. Romeo, Romeo, I know where art thou. Now leave before I call the cops.
58. Long lost friends are that way on purpose
59. Keep your chances within reach
60. Improve your air quality
61. Try a fresh approach to women
62. Spare women from your tongue dungeon
63. The attic should be cooler than the basement
64. Save us from your burp residue
65. Breath so fresh you can see it in photos
66. No, there name is not “Yuck.”
67. A best man’s speech shouldn’t make him look like the worst one.”
68. Breath so fresh, she’ll want to share it with you.
69. A fine wine’s rules don’t apply here
70. Bacteria doesn’t age gracefully.
71. Bring forth a wind of change
72. Change the sheets on your bed worm
73. Make this the of two sheets you’ll put your mouth on tonight
74. Unlike grandma, bacteria doesn’t die of old age
75. Mouth germs are giving wet births to more germs right now
76. Keep your germs a primitive species
77. You longer, “gotta have that funk.”
78. Don’t risk your 6th personal foul
79. Sell back some of your personal space
80. Don’t pay for your meal after the check has signed.
81. Kill the germs your toothbrush brings in
82. “Hhhhhhhave a great day.”
83. Give your inflatable toys an extra lift
84. Fill the ol’ rubber doll with freshness
85. Make a balloon an air freshener
86. Don’t let your laugh bring any drama
87. Your laugh should bring forth smiles
88. Take their breath away by replacing yours
89. Turn ass kissing into a full fledged French
90. Spit some fresh shit, yo.
91. Bad news will be worth repeating
92. Give incentive for keeping your secret
93. We all cut brushing short sometimes
94. Yelling at the jerk in traffic, shouldn’t be punishment for you
95. Pull out all the stops for confession
96. Bad breath is bad taste
97. Sweet and sour should be a choice
98. Bad breath will out power your physique.
99. Be able to tell your mouth from your ass
100. If smell induces memories, don’t end up being haunted.
101. Make grandmas last breath her best one
102. Dress to the gills without smelling like them
103. Keep their eyes of your cleavage
104. Have them hang on every word
105. Their focus should be on your words
106. Looking like a piece of meat is better than smelling one
107. Fresher breath means greener trees
108. End your dinner at digestion
109. Lick her face and not get slapped
110. Kick your garbage mouth to the curb.
111. Take the life from inside your mouth and give it to your breath
112. Reincarnate your mouth germs to fresh breath
113. Dissolve all your mouths conflicts
114. Upkeep your lip service
115. You wouldn’t turn down a kiss from me would you?
116. The only thing thinner is the line you walk to disease
117. Say your blessings without cursing others.
118. No need to shut granny up anymore
119. An easier way to singe those nose hairs
120. The thin layer in your mouth doesn’t have to be plaque
121. A cure to the incubus of plague in your mouth
122. Get out of the thick with just a thin layer
123. Epitomizing the American way. Just sit back and relax
124. The container will be the only the only choking hazard
125. Real freshness can’t be found behind your ear
126. It’s time to fix your oral fixation
127. Add a little reality to playing dentist
128. Get dirtier with a cleaner mouth
129. Pick a partner to play pocket pool with
130. Your passive aggressiveness can be a little more passive.
131. Assure you’ll have someone there to listen
132. There’s a reason why you never talk anymore.
133. Talk to more than the hand
134. Because we all need somebody to listen
135. There’s better ways to show what’s inside
136. Kind of like disintegrating toilet paper in a way
137. Make your ramblings more bearable
138. Assure that your shrink will be listening
139. By the time you finish reading this, the bacteria in your mouth will have doubled.
140. Smell dinner. But only before you eat it.
141. Take the injury out of your insults.
142. Get familiar with proximity
143. Sink your teeth into a clean mouth
144. Give a rude awakening more manners
145. Bypass bristles when you need to be brief
146. Take off the mask from your tongue.
147. Bath time.
148. The first step to understanding is listening. Be sure you can.
149. Stop playing that funky music whiteboy.
150. Extra anchovies shouldn’t mean less tuna.
151. Rendering fire breathers jobless.
152. Give granny a better chance at a visitor
153. Anchovies can only be enjoyed at dinner.
154. It doesn’t take any sugar to get a little of it.
155. Be able to kiss your mother with that mouth
156. Cook something sweet in that oven of yours
157. La Mas class now adds more incentive to reproduce
158. It’ll make having that 7th kid a good idea
159. Red blood cells shouldn’t have to work overtime
160. Keep your immune system focused on that rash
161. One thin layer can get you much closer
162. Strength can come in a paper thin form
163. Give your immune system a few hours off
164. Now your only a nose hair away
165. Women love me, but you already know that.
166. Perms can be as nice as you make ‘em
167. Control your breaths rage.
168. Never buy.
169. Keep those Cuban cigars under wraps.
170. Pleasantries should actually be pleasant
171. Wet more than her appetite
172. Deliver yourself from the depths of evil
173. The dog can’t always be your alibi
174. Prolong the length of looking longingly
175. Redecorate the roof of your mouth
176. Breathing easy should be easy for all
177. It’s not SARS their protecting against.
178. Reduce your rotten ration
179. All this killing is just a means to an end
180. Kills so many germs you may get to keep your tonsils
181. It ain’t a crime if you don’t get caught.
182. Make microscopic non existent
183. Make microscopic even smaller
184. Your chances shouldn’t be smaller than the germs
185. Customer service should start with a smile
186. Offer your customers help, not a cry for it.
187. Inducing vomit is just not good salesmanship
188. You can’t sale something if they can’t listen to you
189. “May I help you,” shouldn’t put you in the hole.
190. Salesman aren’t pesky if they want them around.
191. You can’t sell the sizzle if your sizzle reeks of steak
192. Repeat customers usually aren’t masochists
193. Don’t let people assume the worst about you
194. Putting your best foot forward lets you take even more closer.
195. Put your best foot forward and step even closer
196. If they don’t think you brush, they won’t think you bathe
197. A sour mouth can lead to other assumptions
198. Bad breath can make you the scapegoat for the silent but violent
199. Sure, they look you in the eyes. Like a deer caught in headlights
200. Be less likely to blame for other sour stenches
201. The view is better from the inside out.
202. A toothbrush in the pocket can send the wrong signal
203. Just one more reason not to quit smoking
204. Save thousands of dollars in potential medical bills
205. Enough is enough. Flush ‘em out.
206. You’ll want to breathe even more
207. Suck in the sweet glory of freshness
208. Breathe in the fresh air. Inside or out
209. Stay cool, baby
210. Have another incentive to breathe. You know, other than staying alive
211. Take the tears out of the onions
212. Take the bite out of your bark
213. Swim in the holy water of your breaths bliss
214. Swing on the leaf of a spearmint branch
215. Make your hangover less cleanup.
216. Give your breath the credit it deserves
217. It’s not a clean palette until the germs die
218. If you don’t have anything nice to say, use Listerine breath strips and get away with it anyway.
219. Blow out your candles not your odds of a “Happy” birthday.
220. Blow out the candles without melting the frosting
221. Grant others wishes when you blow out the candles
222. Breath so clean you won’t fog the mirrors
223. Licking your lips shouldn’t make them stink.
224. The tail end of your yawn shouldn’t make others pass out.
225. Add a little eloquence to your words
226. Take the attention off your horrible personality
227. Mumbling bad pickups lines makes them even worse
228. Saying “Good morning” shouldn’t make it a bad one for them.
229. Keep the coffee stains “on” your teeth
230. Strong enough to work on the British
231. Increase your odds at spontaneous sex
232. Prevent breath regurgitation
233. Kill the spirit of your spicy tuna melt
234. Give that deviled egg a taste of heaven
235. Vampires have found a way around garlic
236. Onions should only make you cry once
237. The Funyans in the bottom drawer can stay your little secret
238. Make screaming matches less infuriating
239. Turn a screaming match into a hate fuck
240. Getting lucky seldom involves luck
241. Quit getting nasally responses back
242. Face to face conversations no longer will include the back of someones head
243. Learning to speak through your nose is a bit trickier
244. Don’t be the flower with the bee hidden inside
245. Fresh breath shouldn’t put your teeth at risk
246. Be 99.9% certain its your looks that has ‘em running
247. 30 seconds can lead to an even more pleasurable 30 seconds
248. The second best 30 seconds you’ll have
249. Nothing good ever comes from the side of your mouth
250. Public speaking shouldn’t lead to public evacuation
251. Saying your prayers shouldn’t be blasphemous
252. Speaking your mind can leave you looking like a shithead.
253. Give yourself a chance to explain
254. Bathe that tongue monster of yours
255. Dogs eat their own poop and have cleaner mouths than you.
256. Be sure she’ll pull her veil back
257. Convince your lady its not the booze talking
258. Make her headache disappear
259. Meet people with names other than Ralph.
260. Or you could wait till the bacteria turns to penicillin
261. Leaving less messengers killed
262. Eat like a pig. Smell like a flower
263. Listerine. The green clean germ killing machine
264. Disintegrate something more than your chances.
265. Keep your breakfast a secret
266. Three words: Hot dog breath
267. Not everyones a fan of sauerkraut
268. Do a little upkeep to your personal bubble.
269. Because cold fresh coleslaw turns into hot stale breath
270. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it
271. Good breath speaks louder than words
272. Preferred by more umpires
273. A gag should never preface a response
274. The breath of life shouldn’t reek of death
275. Not using these requires very few brain cells
276. Empty out your coffee filter
277. Turn cilantro into spearming
278. Finish your five course meal in 30 seconds
279. There are better desserts out there than gum juice
280. Sharing shouldn’t be nauseating
281. Let freshness become one with you
282. The power to make a cleft palette sexy
283. Silence is golden. Spoken words can be platinum
284. If gum got your breath so fresh it wouldn’t be under the table
285. Chewing on onion flavored gum won’t get you any fresher
286. Chomp discreetly
287. Ever tongue over the remnants of your mints burn holes?
288. Read to yourself outloud
289. Never trust something you have to spit out
290. Bubble gum is just smoke and mirrors
291. Prepare your mouth for its soul mate
292. Germs aren’t afraid of sugar juice
293. Thinner and less confining than duct tape
294. Upstage your girlfriends French kiss
295. Twist your tongue with more than words
296. Half an hour in makeup shouldn’t be done in vain
297. Compliment your lipstick
298. Lipstick only works with a little backup
299. Cover up the blemish in your mouth
300. A yawn shouldn’t induce vomiting
301. Feel confident enough to yell directly in their face
302. Now, the hairy mole is the only hurdle that remains
303. Lipstick shouldn’t be an illusion
304. Whisper sweet nothings, not rancid ones
305. Secrets are easier to keep when they come with a gift
306. Keep your sweet nothings sweet
307. Apply some lipstick for the nose
308. Honor the breath of life
309. Give the breath of life the respect it deserves
310. Make every breath cleansing
311. Put breathing back on autopilot
312. Make your sneeze endearing again
313. Breathing keeps you alive. Listerine breath strips keeps others
314. Because everybody should enjoy your cup of coffee
315. Coffee can wake up more than you in the morning
316. Take the sting out of bad news
317. Bad news shouldn’t follow the good
318. Bring their nose into the conversation
319. The reason sweet nothing can be about nothing
320. Make bad news seem pretty damn good
321. Pass on your sigh of relief
322. Bad news can be a pleasure to hear
323. Fluffy getting run over never sounded so good
324. Better your CPR success rate
325. You can’t bring em back to life if they don’t want to come
326. Make your pickup lines less offensive
327. Be sure your proposal is a lock
328. Remove your upper lip from the punch line
329. Cheating on your diet has never been easier
330. Be able to fuck your boss’s wife
331. When you only brush your teeth three times a week.
332. Sneaking that cigarette just got a bit easier
333. “No officer, I haven’t had anything to drink.”
334. Put a stop to deadly second hand breath
335. Freshen your breath without all that brushing nonsense
336. Kill 99% of the excuses you haven’t been laid
337. Be sure its not your personality scaring them away
338. Spit out the chewy bacteria trap
339. Watch your tongue. And see millions of germs.
340. Slay your tongue dragon.
341. Open your trap back up
342. Let your trap catch more than dead meat
343. Pant like a dog without being told “No.”
344. Convert Eskimo kisses to French
345. Clear the fog on your mirror
346. Get used to repeating yourself
347. Turn bad breath to heavy breathing
348. The germs you don’t kill will die of loneliness
349. Millions will die. Germs, that is
350. Swallow the corpses of millions of germs
351. Death never tasted so good
352. Millions of killings happen every day. Get your share
353. Make your mouth a massacre
354. Be rewarded for millions of deaths
355. Say millions of eulogies with a smile
356. Feel good knowing the germs will die with their families
357. Make their bright light a green one
358. Have any word a part of a death sentence
359. Kill germs, not your chances to score
360. Speed up the cycle of life.
361. Slide out a sheet of smoothness
362. Don’t taint the content of the conversation
363. Stop the invasion from spreading to loved ones
364. Running from the germs will only double their efforts
365. Protect the homefront from unwanted invaders
366. Keep their interest in the words behind the scent
367. Millions of invaders can be destroyed by the thinnest of lines
368. Sell yourself with a little more sizzle
369. Not all outtake has to be pollution
370. Clean the shores of your mouth for brighter tomorrow
371. The entrance shouldn’t smell worse than the exit
372. Don’t let the germs win the tiny battles throughout the day
373. A truly clean mouth can be felt through the nose
374. The tooth fairy deserves a bonus
375. Expand your menu as far as you want
376. Lick your arm and smell it. Then buy Listerine breath strips.
377. Turn into a close-talker
378. Give the sound of your voice better presentation
379. Save your mouth from the darkside.
380. A breath so fresh you’ll contemplate gargling your saliva
381. Tell your wife everything. Except the booze and the cigs.
382. I hear the ears are friends the nose. Maybe we can get him to help
383. Laughter should never make you cry
384. Render your self-consciousness unconscious
385. Turn off key tunes to a sweet serenade
386. Keep the ice cool for the tonsil hockey game
387. The kissing won’t stop when the director yells cut
388. Keep your water less contaminated
389. Now putting your heads together wont feel like overtime
390. It’s time for a tongue job
391. Fresh breath shouldn’t cause cavities
392. Getting sick shouldn’t be contagious
393. Uncomfortable laughs are finally more comfortable
394. Hunt women with the proper weapon
395. Disinfect your lonely hear
396. Add some stamina to your exhaust
397. Empty the ashtray in your mouth
398. Try to refrain from biting your tongue off
399. You’ll have so much confidence you’ll dabble in arrogance
400. Solid proof that you do in fact brush your teeth
401. Brushing your teeth shouldn’t go in vain
402. Brushing your teeth shouldn’t go unnoticed
403. Hault the suffocation conspiracies
404. Give your teeth some incentive to chew
405. Warning: Words may not want to come out of your mouth
406. Words can’t roll off your tongue if they get stuck in the sludge
407. Clear more than your throat
408. Be sure your adam’s apple doesn’t rot in your throat
409. Leave your foot cleaner when it goes in your mouth
410. Be a dork for fresh breath
411. Extend the 10 second rule to an hour
412. Iron out the lump in your throat
413. Baby’s breath should never age
414. Good breath is genetic. It’s stored in the brain cells
415. Strong enough to carry a conversation all by itself
416. Swallowing your throat shouldn’t make you want to slit your throat
417. Have her owe you after swapping spit
418. Find your inner over confidence
419. Make the voices in your head jealous
420. It’s impossible to mask a Mexican burrito
421. Don’t end up paying through the nose for dinner
422. Break free of the consequences of liver and onions
423. Sharing should stop at feeding each other
424. Take the gag reflex out of play
425. Spitting on someone is no longer an insult
426. Turn a bad joke better
427. Keep your lingo, cool man
428. Take the pressure off your pick up line
429. Don’t trap your princess in the dungeon
430. Washing behind your ears is the least of your problems
431. If they can’t stomach your voice, they won’t hear it
432. Have breakfast with someone without having to share it
433. Killing germs will make you feel better about yourself
434. Speak at room temperature
435. Gestures and hand cues can be hard to comprehend
436. Don’t talk with your mouth full. Of germs
437. Germs can put a rotten spin on your words
438. Well groomed goes beyond the surface
439. Clear the air without any explanation
440. It’s superficial to be judged on your breath within
441. Swap fishing stories without so much realism
442. The Star Spangled Banner should be sparkling when you sing it
443. “Who farted,” shouldn’t add to the smell
444. An easy way to help polish up that second language
445. Whispers shouldn’t be silent but violent
446. Your honesty shouldn’t be tainted
447. Bring a little back up for your breath
448. “Can you come back in 30 seconds.”
449. Make a pause well worth the wait
450. “Hey, how you doing,” should incur a happy response
451. The layover in London shouldn’t rub off on you
452. At least give a pedicure to the foot in your mouth
453. Make English the second language they hear
454. Make breathing more hygienic
455. Feel proud of yourself for swallowing your pride
456. Not recommended to be taken in prison
457. Give the drug dogs a big fat kiss without breaking a sweat.
458. Give tongue lashings with out the infection
459. Inspiration to meditate on a thin layer
460. Make La Mas breathing a pleasurable memory
461. Licking your lips shouldn’t lead to the kiss of death
462. If you’re close enough to touch ‘em, your close enough to feel ‘em up.
463. Kill the germs she’s put in your mouth
463. Other people suffer from your breath disease
464. Make morning breath stay a personal problem
465. Asking for directions just got a little easier
466. She can tell you’re holding your breath before speaking
467. Stop trying to talk while sucking in
468. Get close enough to blind her with your good looks
469. Do people wish you wouldn’t breathe?
470. Arrive bearing gifts to their personal bubble
471. Clean up the place before Miss Tongue comes over
472. Third base is impossible if you don’t kiss her first
473. Your introduction shouldn’t sully your name
474. Secrets can’t be heard from far away
475. Conversations shouldn’t require protection
476. Be sure its joy your spreading around
477. Make your choppers less intimidating
478. Your girlfriend is hotter without your warm breath bearing down on her
479. Conversations with yourself shouldn’t leave to self loathing
480. An infectious laugh shouldn’t actually be infectious
481. Keep the rest of your meal in the doggy bag, not your breath
482. Get close enough to wipe way her tears
483. Love is blind, not blinding. Zip it up, bud.
484. Give her a reason to kiss you besides that white leather jacket with the torn sleeves.
485. Reading from the Gospel shouldn’t stink to high heaven
486. The closer you can stand to your boss, the easier it will be to follow in his footsteps.
487. Get a better glimpse into the windows of her soul
488. You can’t get in their head if your not close enough to touch it
489. So you can get a smell of their fresh breath
490. Being intimate is impossible if you can’t get close
491. Magnetically charged breath strips that look for attraction
492. Simultaneous burps with your farts can have you in the clear
493. Discuss your business instead of “giving them the business” with your breath
494. An effective treatment for Andrew Dice Clay
495. Drop the bomb on someone without dropping the bomb on someone
496. Get close enough to read them better
497. Your pearly whites will look better up close
498. Be able to show off that new aftershave
499. Get familiar with the latest perfumes out ther
500. Leave them wide-eyed in other ways
501. Find out the color of her eyes
502. Show your mouth some sensitivity
503. Gentle good byes can lead to rougher hello’s.
504. Set them up with a smile. Knock them down with bad breath
505. People are less likely to scour through garbage for content
506. Keep your breath off the barometer
507. Better cleavage shots are found up close
508. Do without the mint skid marks on your tongue
509. Increase your odds at them leaning back in.
510. Kiss her check without leaving a zit
511. Give your lies less of a sting
512. Your first kiss as man and wife shouldn’t end in divorce
513. Recall fond meals, but keep it in the memory banks
514. Limit your B.O. to only one
515. Suck your thumb and clean it all at once
516. Put some sincerity behind your well wishes
517. Speak for clarity not for distance
518. Neutral comments shouldn’t make their eyes water
519. Speak no more evil
520. No sugar coating necessary
521. Arguments should be less abrasive
522. Add a little muscle to your mouths security system
523. Some sentences shouldn’t risk being sullied
524. Sharpen your senses
525. Music to their ears should extend to their nose as well
526. Sprinkle some sugar on snide remarks
527. Leave them on the edge of you seat, not on the very back
528. Increase your odds of reproduction
529. The art of persuasion should be more of a Picasso
530. Inner strength should be a beautiful thing
531. Make tongue in cheek comments as clean as possible
532. Make an intervention easier to swallow
533. “God Bless You” shouldn’t come in the form of the devil
534. Take the heat from those heated conversations
535. Say the alphabet without the P U.
536. Because singing praises can make you fall from grace
537. Saying “thank you,” shouldn’t smell like “I’m sorry.”
538. Demanding respect should include a little of it.
539. Speaking from experience shouldn’t smell so old
540. A scolding on self respect should include some
541. Duck calls shouldn’t give off your exact location
542. Don’t make your scream a cry for help
543. Make your lol’s actually laughs
544. Keep your dieting tactics to yourself
545. Take your spit shine to a whole new level
546. Small enough to lose under her bed
547. Don’t salt your own game
548. Make smelling your favorite sense
549. Save the gas mask for the bong hits
550. Live vicariously through a spearmint plant
551. When germs unite, take no prisoners
552. Saying something stupid has never been so sweet
553. Apathy has never been so easy to reverse
554. It’s like a fresh pair of undies for your mouth
555. Sing along without killing the song
556. You no longer need to limit the chef
557. Rooting for your team should never rotten the room
558. No longer skimp on the special seasoning
559. Upgrade your air outtake
560. The cigars in the shed need a cover
561. You can’t fake the funk
562. Give “them” a blessing when you sneeze
563. Leave others just as satisfied when you sneeze
564. Make your recycled air more salvageable
565. Support germ abortion
566. When peaceful talks don’t prevail. Kill ‘em. Kill ‘em all.
567. Death is an integral part of your life’s quality
568. H’ordeours shouldn’t last past dessert
569. Soften the punch of the word “pre-nup.”
570. Make sure your interruptions can be pardoned
571. The first security device that invites people closer
572. Kill almost all of the action that will take place in your mouth
573. Asking for a favor shouldn’t be a favor in itself
574. Your breath shouldn’t be a flashback to lunch
575. Speaking well of yourself should never backfire
576. Provide some maintenance to your machine
577. Make gnarly a good thing when you speak it
578. Sweeten the comments made under your breath
579. The black cloud that follows you around has taken over
580. Dinner smells better when its not all combined
581. That extra baggage is in your mouth
582. Unload the extra baggage beneath your brows
583. Be the breath of fresh air people say you are
584. Speaking to you shouldn’t require even more patience than it already does
585. Speak up without putting anybody out for the count
586. You no longer have to share that cigarette with someone
587. Turn your tongue back into the red carpet that it is
588. Speak with the right sort of satisfaction
589. If you can’t brush the teeth, you can’t do your job
590. Your opinions can be less embarrassing now
591. The white coating on your tongue is hardly protection
592. While you dream, a nightmare may be coming true.
593. Your spit shouldn’t be glad to leave your mouth
594. Look forward to swallowing your saliva
595. Bring back kissing to morning sex
596. Don’t let germs past the gatekeeper.
597. Staplers aren’t the best tongue scrapers
598. Kick out the unwanted tenants on your tongue
599. Breathing easy should be easy for everyone
600. Forego all the filler
601. Find refuge behind the paper thin wall
602. Good breath can be as subtle as good breath
603. Back up the “attention to detail” on your resume
604. Confidence should never be temporary
605. Sterilize your most fertile ground
606. Or you could search the work fridge for baking soda
607. Smash the germs that sneak under the radar
608. You can keep the toothpick for aesthetics
609. Looking cool shouldn’t smell so hot
610. Don’t smuggle sushi’s scent
611. Take the assault out of your verbal onslaught
612. Expressing gratitude should be a gracious gesture
613. Air out your airhole
614. Let your reputation proceed you. Not your stench
615. Exercise some self control. Literally.
616. Keep your pencil from rotting after you chew it
617. Your sense of smell should be a pleasure to have
618. Meet up for coffee. Leave without it.
619. Your best line of defense is paper thin
620. Lonliness should be sympathetic
621. Leave your mouth as desolate as you used to be
622. Hell has hathed a new fury. Hose her down
623. Germs live in droves. Learn from it and move on.
624. Be the life of the party without killing the vibe
625. If only the germs in your mouth were as lonely as you
626. Germs aren’t the companionship you’re looking for.
627. You can’t count on germs to keep your secret.
628. Speaking in tongues shouldn’t allude to Satans works
629. Leave dessert desserted when its over
630. Your tongue doesn’t get out much
631. Train your tongue to be more socially adept
632. Discover better healthcare with the flick of a finger
633. Be less threatened by the flies on your food
634. Your tongue is not a monster
635. Dress to the nines without smelling like a one
636. Strengthen the bond of the promises you make
637. Offset your fart with your burp
638. Proof that healthcare can be socialized
639. Lip service shouldn’t be a disservice
640. Give your sound bites less of a bite
641. Don’t bite the tongue that feeds you
642. Please don’t attempt to swallow your tongue afterwards
643. Give your taste buds the ability to bloom
644. Your first kiss shouldn’t go down in flames
645. Add a little life to looking someone dead in the eyes
646. Cut down on your phone bill and meet them face to face
647. Intimate conversations shouldn’t be shouted from the end of the street
648. Don’t make your bad grammar worse
649. Novacaine belongs in your mouth not your nose
650. Add another layer when its sweltering inside
651. Clear the forecast for the next couple of days
652. Add a cover to your night cap
653. Don’t take your blind dates sense of smell too
654. Action smells better than words
655. Sermons lose credibility when they stink to high heaven
656. Witness life after germs death
657. Have great endurance for at least one more thing
658. Notice more than a smile
659. Call off the nasal assault
660. Getting some sugar shouldn’t taste so sour
661. Savor the smell of satisfaction
662. Sensitivity doesn’t come in the form of a sour stench
663. Saying sorry shouldn’t sever further ties
664. Give the gift of good breath
665. Forcing a French is now more acceptable
666. “I mean come on, who brushes everyday?”
667. Enhance everyone else’s yoga experience
668. Chivalry can be as simple as saying “hello.”
669. Say hello to all your little friends
670. Your teeth should be able to wear white to the wedding
671. Your dog kisses you cause your breath smells like its food
672. Because your batteries on your toothbrush are bound to run out
673. Murder. Without the guilt
674. It’s not your dead cat stinking up the joint
675. Make it less obvious Bob Marley’s your hero
676. Gain an edge on garlic bread


Brock Johnson, CW
Brainco.

Arthur's 800

1. Kills so quickly, bad breath doesn't feel a thing.
2. Atomic breath relief.
3. The faster you eliminate bad breath, the less pain it feels.
4. Breath refreshment you can feel in your soul.
5. After a long night of not brushing your teeth, say goodnight to what made it seem so long when you woke up.
6. Incinerate bad breath with a blast of cinnamon: "whoa."
7. The moment when your entire body feels a little more alive is proof its working.
8. For something so incredibly violent, its amazing how clean it makes you feel.
9. Instantly killing millions has never felt so good.
10. The first breath you take after you've popped one in is more like a gasp.
11. Taste fresh air for the very first time.
12. Improve your air quality instantly.
13. The short-term solution to degenerating air quality.
14. Make carbon dioxide taste really good.
15. Give trees an option for cinnamon flavored CO2.
16. When they come out of your mouth, make it more like wintergreen house gases.
17. Consider it the wintergreen house effect.
18. Add a little cinnamon spice to photosynthesis.
19. They'll be able to smell your oral goodness three seats down.
20. Maybe it will get the trees working a little harder on their end of the photosynthesis deal.
21. Oral care is the last thing it does to the bacteria in your mouth.
22. Introduce photosynthesis to a whole new breed of carbon dioxide.
23. Powerful enough to clean the air inside of your mouth.
24. Wintergreen energy.
25. Give the germs in your mouth a minty fresh scent so they can enter hell without smelling like it.
26. You might be going to hell for what you did last night, but it doesn't have to smell like it.
27. A flavor the germs in your mouth can contemplate well into their next life as a dust mite.
28. Because one mans saving grace is another germs one-way ticket to hell.
29. Make your burps sing.
30. Oral nirvana can be achieved in cinnamon.
31. Give the germs in your mouth the option to die in one of our six different flavors.
32. The only way to breath.
33. It can't trick a Breathalyzer, but it could trick the cop into not giving you one.
34. What a real cold war feels like.
35. Strips that dissolve as quickly as your bad breath.
36. Winning the war on not getting action because you have dog breath since 2000.
37. Make as big an impression on the girl sitting next to you as you did to your mouth.
38. Make as big an impression on the girl 3 seats down as the one right next to you.
39. Declare nuclear war on the raw onions in your burger.
40. Consider them finely sliced ninja stars capable of taking out millions of germs in a single throw.
41. Stop being so reluctant on the plate of onion flavored garlic bread.
42. What you did last night might not be, but your mouth can be clean instantly.
43. Consider it holy water for your mouth.
44. Forget whatever it was in your mouth at dinner was ever there.
45. Send bad after taste into the after life.
46. Because the only after taste in your mouth after that first date shouldn't come from what you had at dinner.
47. The best way to remember what it felt like when you took your very first breath.
48. Oxygen is now available in 4 refreshing different flavors.
49. Share kisses with your dog without sharing her breath.
50. You shouldn't have to work hard for great breath.
51. Medicine as old as your grandfather--breath as refreshing as his honesty.
52. Because people should smell your great breath, not see it.
53. Great breath is to be smelled, not seen.
54. The only after taste they leave is oxygen.
55. Play he loves me, without he loves me not.
56. Kiss the cook, even if they've been nibbling on the red onion.
57. 24 individual strips perfect for playing he loves me without he loves me not.
58. Turn breath from hell into hello.
59. Add an "o" to breath from hell.
60. The "o" in breath from hell.
61. Your emissions should smell better than your cars.
62. The line between his breath smells like death and spearmint is paper thin.
63. Confidence is thinner than you might think.
64. It may feel violating...your first time.
65. If Krispy cream made breath smell nice.
66. Make the C in Carbon dioxide stand for cinnamon.
67. Is it candy? Is it medicine? Is it plastic?
68. Introducing the first calories that dissolve before you can even swollow them.
69. Because the back of your throat needs an intervention.
70. Because you can't brush your teeth while skydiving every day.
71. An invigorating blast of "whoa, I'll have another."
72. Does a man have bad breath if there is no one around to smell it? Ask the fallen tree.
73. The most powerful tool in breath technology history since breath.
74. Everyone remembers their first one.
75. You may never get to go to the Andes in your lifetime, but your mouth can.
76. Your mouth can tolerate temperatures the rest of your body can't.
77. Experience a cleansing sensation that would make Buddhist monks do a double take.
78. Shock and awe without the bush.
79. Taste oxygen in a whole new light.
80. The arctic is now available in cinnamon.
81. She can't hear how funny you are when you're telling jokes in onion petals.
82. No matter how charming you are, she won't be able to hear you over the voice in her head screaming: "abort conversation immediately.
83. You don't have to speak a word to say something about yourself.
84. Have the power to say something without saying it.
85. Add a shot of cinnamon to "can I buy you a drink?"
86. Because when you're talking, you're breathing too.
87. Give your words a minty fresh platform.
88. Speak hello in more languages than words.
89. Make your breath one with the Himalayas.
90. Breath the same stuff those 140 year old Tibetan monks breath in Los Angeles.
91. You don't have to go to Tibet to breath the same stuff the 140 year monks do.
92. The Andes isn't the only place you can taste fresh air.
93. Garlic bread doesn't stand a chance against the power of the Himalayas.
94. Your grandfathers medicine. Your packaging.
95. Because you can't gurgle everywhere.
96. Blast your way to fresh breath.
97. If only bad memories were so easy to clean.
98. Brushing your teeth doesn't brush your breath.
99. Your stomach will wonder whats going on up there.
100. Feel the arctic in the back of your throat.
101. Ask yourself what you can do for your co-workers.
102. The age old question: mint or medicine?
103. Be careful how you offer them.
104. Gurgling for 30 seconds is a thing of the past.
105. As the moments tick down to your interview, pop in some last second confidence.
106. Confidence now comes in citrus flavor.
107. Half mint, half medicine, and now citrus.
108. Urban legend has it, a strip at the roof of your mouth will make your entire body disintegrate. Others rave about how good disintegrating feels.
109. The only thing powerful enough to turn coffee and smokers breath back into carbon dioxide.
110. Bring your death breath back to life.
111. You'll almost dream about morning breath.
112. The most powerful weapon against smokers breath next to quitting.
113. Because you can't cleanse your soul without cleansing the opening to it.
114. Vaporize the germs that cause bad breath with a quick pop.
115. Made with the same technology used to make ninjas.
116. There's nothing curious about instantly vaporizing millions of germs that cause bad breath.
117. Give your grandchildren the option of listening to your war stories in cinnamon or citrus.
118. Curtail your breath to the kind of girl you're hitting on.
119. The only other thing that dissolves when mixed with saliva should be her heart.
120. You won't be needing that utility belt for your mouth wash anymore.
121. The micro processor of oral hygiene.
122. Mouthwash with the sink built in.
123. The power of medicine, the fun factor of candy, it's like discovering children's cough syrup all over again.
124. The future of oral care has arrived in convenient little packages.
125. Speak softly, or loudly. Your stick will do the talking.
126. Inspired by the air in the Canadian Rockies.
127. So this is what Faith Hill meant.
128. Breathing has never been such a flavorful experience.
129. You'll never think about the air the same say again.
130. Make her hear dissolve as quickly as the strips.
131. For the British spy in all our mouths.
132. Say dirty things that smell really good.
133. Whisper cinnamony nothings into her ears.
134. Worth their weight in gold--which is a pretty damn good deal considering how light they are.
135. They'll open your eyes before they open your mouth.
136. Speak the real language of love.
137. Consider it compensation for your inability to speak French.
138. Make English a romance language.
139. Studies have shown, saying I'm sorry in cinnamon is more effective than in fish breath.
140. The back of your throat will thank you. Unfortunately, he can't send you flowers, but he would if he could.
141. Get a taste of what dragons first breath after blowing fire is like.
142. A flavor for every ninja turtle.
143. Your cell phone will thank you in ways no human could.
144. Have more conversations that end without words.
145. Its likely they'll forget your lack of experience when all they can think is: "that's damn nice breath."
146. They'll be asking for them before you even offer.
147. Legend has it, whispering sweet nothings in citrus may improve your chances.
148. Whoa. Wait, was that cinnamon?
149. Just as much spear as mint.
150. You can't take your sink everywhere.
151. What we suspect Clark Kent's sport coat is made of.
152. "Dissolves on contact with saliva" is as cool as it sounds.
153. Reading Hansel and Gretel just got more interactive.
154. A strip for every layer of onion.
155. Philosophers have speculated its strength follows you to your next life.
156. Your greatest secret is what you had for lunch.
157. Because you never know when you need a clean mouth.
158. The exam started five minuets ago, you just woke up and that girl you've been flirting with all semester is saving you a seat.
159. They'll change your mouth's life.
160. Turn your mouth into a glacial paradise of "damn, that boy's breath be fresh!"
161. Arm yourself with image.
162. Straddling the fine between fire and ice.
163. Your tongue's memory eraser.
164. You might remember you had garlic bread at dinner, but your tongue shouldn't.
165. Kimchee's long awaited foil has arrived in four different flavors.
166. The only force in the universe powerful enough to neutralize kimchee is now available in citrus and cinnamon.
167. Its a breath mint...its a gum...its whoa. What just happened inside my mouth?
168. No one will know you were bowing to a porcelain God just two minuets ago.
169. Show your cell phone some humanity during your marathon conversations with your girl.
170. Increase the lifespan of your phone.
171. When they ask you if its safe, just smile and blow them a whiff of Icelandic mountain air.
172. Caution, may cause your dog to become a 19th century British scholar.
173. Citrus has never done humanity so much good.
174. The most citrus has done since incorporating vitamin c.
175. Take them anywhere you take your mouth.
176. The perfect entry strategy should never involve a pickup line.
177. Breath intensely.
178. Rush is a four-lettered word for inadequately describing a Listerine breath strip.
179. What does it feel like to instantly wipe out millions of germs in your mouth? The future.
180. Science fiction has arrived a few years early.
181. Take care of the putrid in the back of your mouth without a bar of soap.
182. Dirty mouth? Works better than soap.
183. Here's to a world with more Listerine.
184. Is she listening or just smiling? Who cares, she's still standing next to you.
185. Turn your potty mouth into a W.C.
186. How do we pack so much power into tiny little strips? Don't ask philosophical questions.
187. What causes bad breath? Bad air, or bad mouths? We've got a solution to both.
188. Before our new cinnamon flavor, you've only tasted cinnamon before.
189. Flavor you feel.
190. Fell the spear in spearmint.
191. Your breath will flash before your eyes.
192. At anytime, your mouth could be hosting 15 million germs. You should feel lighter when it gets clean.
193. Have breath you can smell through an intercom.
194. A coat of armor against the pearls of grilled onion-tuna sandwiches.
195. People will start listening with their nose.
196. In any interview, your breath should smell as good as you look.
197. The difference between getting heard and being listened to.
198. Sprinkle some cinnamon on your je nais se quoi.
199. Tell them you have vitamin C in your kisses.
200. Make your kisses taste like grandmas cinnamon buns.
201. When a trip to the bathroom jeopardizes morning Ecstasy.
     
202. Learn to speak in cool mint.
203. The subtlest way to tell someone, have a mint.
204. Say hello in four languages at once.
205. The coolest way to say hello.
206. The onion ring lunch retreat is no longer a guilty pleasure.
207. Snack anywhere.
208. Cheeto fingers are no longer taboo.
209. Is it OK to curse in cinnamon? Perhaps somewhat.
210. Give yourself a little lee way with 4-lettered words.
211. Studies show little old ladies prefer you swear in cinnamon.
212. Calling her a (picture of strip) in cool mint might save you the back of her hand.
213. If it doesn't sound nice, but smells nicer, are you just saying something nice?
214. If you can't say something nice, at least make it smell nice.
215. Proven to increase tipping.
216. Make that $50 suit seem a little more Italian.
217. Be professional before sounding it.
218. Vocabulary 100 words short of intellectual status? We'll help you make up the difference.
219. Smell classier than you sound.
220. Every onion farmers secret best friend.
221. The real reason for the sudden surge in onion sales.
222. Consider the smart bomb of oral care technology.
223. See your breath on a July afternoon.
224. They're landing strips for the date from heaven.
225. Every great orator's secret weapon.
226. Kills more than just germs.
227. Kills insecurity as well as it kills germs.
228. Dissolves insecurity as quickly as it does in your mouth.
229. Confidence you can feel.
230. Because you ought to feel anything that claims to give you confidence.
231. Medical candy you can feel working.
232. Breath taller than you are.
233. Oxygen never tasted so full of cinnamon.
234. Works in outer space.
235. Somewhere between morning breath and morning sex.
236. It will get you from morning breath to morning sex.
237. It feels like rocket science going on in your mouth.
238. You'll taste the citrus, feel the ingenious science and they'll smell the difference.
239. Funny how your mouth experiences the future before you do.
240. What speculative fiction writers of the civil war era failed to predict.
241. Oral hygienic foresight Hanna Barbara didn't see coming.
242. Breathologists worst nightmare.
243. For all those who thought Listerine was a thing of the dinosaurs, try your dinosaur breath on this.
244. The only breath mint you can see working.
245. Rejuvenate more than just your breath.
246. The only breath mind that cleanses your senses as much as your breath.
247. The 4th great awakening.
248. The final great awakening can happen without morning breath.
249. Morning breath isn't the only slow going at 6 am.
250. Every other breath mint is sensory under load.
251. Kick start more than just your breath.
252. Clear the morning cobwebs with a blast of citrus flavored oxygen.
253. Ancient Hindu texts connect the mouth to the soul. Well damn skippy!
254. Like 24 paper thin Pentium chips for your mouth and brain.
255. The refresh button for you body and soul.
256. 24 neatly packaged refresh buttons for your mind, body and soul.
257. Because killing millions of germs will remind you how good it feels to be alive.
258. Redundantly powerfully powerful breath refreshment.
259. The tiny packaging should be warning enough.
260. The tiny packaging with the not so tiny price should clue you into what kind of big you're dealing with.
261. Because cleaning the creatures in your mouth should feel dangerous.
262. Feels as powerful as cancer treatment might feel in 2380.
263. Is it painful, intense, borderline insanity? The good kind...yes.
264. feels dangerous because it is (to the scum in your mouth).
265. Dangerously clean.
266. Make your mouth a danger zone for bad breath germs.
267. Turn your 50-cent words into JFKs.
268. Powered by science, flavored by marketing.
269. Your personal bubble just got smaller.
270. Because we don't believe in bubbles.
271. Bubbles just keep people apart.
272. The difference between "I'd love to" and "I'm sorry" can be as simple as a couple million microscopic organisms.
273. When her mind tells her I'd love to, but her nose says hell no.
274. When noses get in the way of kisses.
275. Even with East-Asian couples, noses can get int the way of kisses.
276. Before dinner, she'll think you're trying hard. After dinner, she'll just think you're magical.
277. Easy to slip in unnoticed during long philosophical conversations.
278. Nihilism never smelled so appealing.
279. When Mormons discover it, remember to always check your peepholes.
280. If big things come in small packages, consider our strips microscopic.
281. Make your conversations a little closer.
282. Our solution to a smaller world growing further and further apart.
283. Make your conversations smell as pleasant as they sound.
284. There's more to understanding than just listening.
285. Simply cinnamonlicious.
286. Your grandkids will listen to your war stories if you coat them in cinnamon.
287. Sprinkle a little cinnamon on y our daily bitching and he might actually do something about the garage door.
288. How douche bags get hot girls.
289. The prune juice of oral hygiene.
290. Charming speaks spearmint.
291. Your mini-pocket translator from English to charming.
292. Transform tolerable chats into interesting ones.
293. Engage her in conversations about the '86 Broncos you never thought possible.
294. The trees will thank you.
295. Conversation lengtheners.
296. "I'm sorry" is a lot more convincing in cinnamon.
297. Because every elevator is an opportunity.
298. Remember, will you marry me gets said right under her nose.
299. Give your car something to smile about.
300. Do it for everyone supporting public transportation.
301. Make public transportation as clean on the inside as it is for the outside.
302. Support public transportation in your own way.
303. Make everyone riding experience a little fresher.
304. The blitzing middle linebacker of breath refreshment.
305. A sensation between burning pain and burning.
306. Awaken your senses without caffeine.
     
307. Breath the air of the North Star, even while it feels like hell outside.
308. Your alarm clock wakes you up, try these to wake up your senses.
309. Don't just clear your palette, cleanse it.
310. Your palette deserves better than day old morning breath.
311. What happens when trains breed with breath mints.
312. Your je nais se quoi has never been so full of cinnamon.
313. Even your DNA will feel cleaner.
314. Experience the 8,000 mile/hour rush of damn good breath.
315. Go from the sewer to the Himalayas in less than 3 seconds.
316. There are many synonyms for intense, but the best one isn't a word at all.
317. Out of all the synonyms for intense, the best one can't be found in a thesaurus.
     
318. Refreshment shouldn't just belong to your mouth.
319. Start a love affair between your pocket and the back of your mouth.
320. Dangerous is now avalible in citrus.
321. The long standing debate continues, do Listerine Pocket Paks belong in side pockets, back pockets or shirt pockets?
322. For quicker access, use the shirt pocket.
323. We recommend cargo pants only for spare packs.
324. Serenity comes from a sudden gasp of fresh air.
325. Because memories remember everything.
326. Every memory has five senses.
327. Every memory has five sense--take care of one the easy way.
328. Don't chance what could be the greatest moment of your life with any breath mint.
329. Because a bad smell is a bad memory.
330. Start speaking delicious.
331. When the moment comes around, she'll remember every single detail, forever.
332. Because while bad breath doesn't last forever, bad impressions can.
333. Because bad impressions last longer than bad breath.
334. Make sure your breath matches the picture in the mirror.
335. Make every first impression a Monet.
336. The source of life's greatest memories should have something nice to wear.
337. Your breath doesn't matter when you're dreaming, making them come true is another story.
338. With or without a prescription, nothing kicks bad breaths ass harder.
339. The Iron Mike Tyson of oral hygiene.
340. Everything else is just candy.
341. Our strips don't save lives, they set them in motion.
342. Annahilate everything in your mouth that causes bad breath. Your on your own with teeth.
343. Flavor that kicks ten minuets of chewing into three powerful seconds of "damn."
344. Act like a cow for 20 minuets, or feel like you just gave birth to one in your mouth.
345. There's nothing you can do for the bottom end. Compensate by doing twice as much for the top.
346. Make belching a multi-sensory interactive experience.
347. The breathalyzer will thank you.
348. No one is investing in pleasant smelling fart technology. Control what you can.
349. Only tested on animals with really bad breath.
350. Technology trumps evolution once again.
351. Money isn't the only way to get your grandkids wanting to visit you again.
352. Mint concentrate.
353. The concentrate in from cinnamon concentrate.
354. All the power of 15 minuets of chewing gum in five seconds.
355. Curious? Fire away.
356. Chewing and sucking is wasted energy.
357. Let your saliva do all the chewing and sucking.
358. Ask yourself: what has your saliva done for you lately?
359. Make your mouth part of a scientific project.
360. When was the last time you felt science happening in your mouth.
361. Because 50-cent breath mints don't enhance your 50-cent vocabulary.
362. Consider your coffee supplementary.
363. Add some "I don't have coffee breath" to your morning coffee.
364. Your respitory system gets bored sometimes.
365. They can't hear your fancy words over the garbage coming out of your mouth.
366. Add a touch of cinnamon to your respitory system.
367. The space between you and a stranger lies on a paper thin line.
368. The space between friends, the space between lovers.
369. Cater some cinnamon to our most primal of senses.
370. Its fun when magical stars trail the powdery goodness of your burps.
371. Theres more to words than whats just heard.
372. They're more willing to smile at the total when they aren't thinking about it.
373. Experience what it feels like to breath like an eagle.
374. Marathon runners' on the go oxygen bar.
375. Cleaner mouths mean less things getting in between your lungs and oxygen.
376. Think of them as tiny magic carpets that take your mouth to wonderful places all around the world.
377. The power of 1,000 years of cinnamon history packed into one tiny, powerful medi-God.
378. They'll never be able to smell you were in a rush.
379. Morning rush out the door breath has never been so pleasant.
380. Landing in style now has 4 different flavorful landing strips.
381. Turn your elevator ride into a climb up the company latter.
382. Oh the places your mouth will take you.
383. The only mirror you'll need won't come until long after you pop one in.
384. Consider each strip a mini vacation to a different mountain top.
385. WHOOOAAAA!
386. Nuclear science has never been closer to cinnamon.
387. Hear your parents' stories again, for the first time.
388. Power is getting their attention before you've said a single thing.
389. Caution: using more than one strip at a time may cause you to have good breath even for the ones you don't want to talk to.
390. The greatest enemy in the history of morning breath.
391. Your mouth's citrus-powered battery.
392. Even 16 year old Tiffany will be hard pressed to out talk our long lasting freshness.
393. Cleanse your soul the same time you cleanse your breath.
394. Because deep cleaning should be felt in more places than your mouth.
395. Killing millions of germs shouldn't feel comfortable.
396. Comfortable breath mints are nice...if you're ready to die.
397. Bring some cinnamon danger into your mouth.
398. Its been eating peanut butter sandwiches and Cesar salads for years. Throw its some cinnamon danger to chew on--but not really chew on.
399. Your mouth is bored of whole wheat.
400. Taste every micron of bacon.
401. Make the same 'ol stuff taste a little different.
402. Sandwich the same damn series of meats you eat everyday between a blast of cool mint refreshment.
403. Flavor your saliva something other than spit.
404. Make the ants swarm over your spit.
405. Your saliva has never been so salivating.
     
406. Put hair on your chest quicker than your father.
407. Freshen your breath the same time you put hair on your chest.
408. Make everyone just a few strips from everyone else.
409. Spearmint's sharpest point.
410. Hunting tuna never came so easy.
411. The kind of fresh that lets you get fresh.
412. The Magna Carta never seemed so cool mint-esque.
413. Make her decision to break up with you as close to impossible as cinnamon can get.
414. Nietzsche never smelled fresher.
415. Suddenly the four hour philosophical marathons seem a lot less four hours.
416. Swallowing the wedding bill can smell a lot better than it tastes.
417. It wont bring the wedding bill down anymore, but it will bring down the suicide urges during planning.
418. When buying a house, you'll want to remember more than how bad the realtors breath smelled.
419. Sharing has never been so low key.
420. Its the biggest moment in their lives. Make sure they remember your handshake more than your breath.
421. Say "I do" in cinnamon.
422. The most important two words in the rest of your life deserve the kind of care cool mint can take care of.
423. She remembers the missing coat button on your first date. Don't think you can get away with bad breath on the most important day of your life.
424. Because fish breath can put a dampener on a romantic moment under the stars.
425. The first time you confess your love to her, make sure you've taken care of any other sins.
426. When you confess your love to her, make sure you're not bringing anything from hell into the conversation.
427. She's an angel. Don't bring anything from hell into the relationship.
428. We've taken care of the science. The magic is up to you.
429. A perfect example of how science and art can co-exist peacefully.
430. Whoever said romance is dead needs to consult the little plastic container.
431. The reason break-ups end up getting back together.
432. A beautiful summer night, with a beautiful young woman, Al Green and a bag of onion rings.
433. Make your breath live up to your smile.
434. When you utter the two most important words for the rest of your lives, make sure she can't know what you had for breakfast.
435. She'll never know onion rings were on the breakfast menu.
436. To you and your kids, the sex talk is bad enough.
437. Sprinkle a little cinnamon on the birds and the bees.
438. Onions should grown in fields, not your mouth.
439. Make the kind of impression you want to make the first day on the job.
440. During office hours, remember your professor remembers who you are for your brain.
441. Planning the wedding is a lot easier to swallow with a little bit of cinnamon.
442. Because whispering is more breathing than talking.
443. Be fluent in charming.
444. The drug talk is hard to understand spoken in kimchee.
445. Discussing politics can be uncomfortable enough.
446. When discussing terrorism, make sure your breath isn't on the offensive.
447. When discussing terrorism, make sure you aren't committing it.
448. As good as that breakfast omelet was, you don't want to keep tasting it until the next one.
449. Keep the breakfast omelet delicious by forgetting what it tastes like after finishing the first one.
450. During the interview, make sure they can't smell you were up all night studying.
451. Rock a bye baby shouldn't be sung in Funyon.
452. Being drunk without smelling it has its advantages.
453. They want to know what the food was like, not smell what its like.
454. When it comes to job fairs, market yourself as a multi-sensory experience.
455. Job searching? Vertically orient your oral hygiene.
     
456. Running into the one that got away might require a little boost of confidence.
457. Consider dissovable confidence.
458. Talking about religion requires a certain amount of tact. Some cinnamon, spearmint, citrus or cool mint tact.
459. Make the snack lane a lot less dangerous.
460. Let people discover your layers through knowing you.
461. The Haitian revolution shouldn't be shocking because of how it smelled.
462. The Haitian revolution shouldn't smell revolting.
463. Speak volumes on mute.
464. Because the mute button doesn't work on her nose.
     
465. The only thing curious about you, should be your personality.
466. Make it interesting because of what you say, not how you say it.
467. The piece that will allow you to speak clearly.
468. Carrying the official four flavors of love.
469. The sunset, the woman of your dreams...don't spoil it with last nights Chinese.
470. Regardless of your political views, always speak liberally.
471. Speak liberally regardless of your political views.
472. When you're talking Ying, make sure your breath doesn't Yang.
473. Because your interviewer shouldn't know what you had for breakfast.
474. She'll never know you're a huge Kimchee fan.
475. The most important paper after you've gotten the interview.
476. After you've gotten the interview, the most important factor won't come out of your work experience.
477. Freshen your breath without getting camel jaw.
478. Because first impressions don't come around a second time.
479. Appeal to peoples reptilian core.
480. Be visceral, don't smell it.
481. Sometimes its not what you don't say, its what you don't smell.
482. Let your tongue do the talking, not the back of your mouth.
483. Because the only thing the back of your tongue can say is "I had onions for lunch."
484. Amnesia for your mouth isn't a bad thing.
485. Your brain does fine enough remembering what dinner tasted like.
     
486. She can remember what dinner tasted like.
487. She doesn't need a reminder about what you had for dinner every time you talk.
488. Your mouth shouldn't recount memories.
489. You don't need to remind her what was for dinner during the good night kiss.
490. Talk about the Jungle Book, don't smell like it.
491. Because Kimchee and lipstick don't taste well together.
492. Good night kisses don't care for good evening appetizers.
493. Smell like a million bucks. In cinnamon.
494. Gorgenzola cheese can get in the way of a discussion on the Cuban Missile crisis.
495. Because Cuban sandwiches don't mix well with conversations on the Cuban Missile Crisis.
496. Every persons morning breath is different. Different in that "Jesus Christ, brush your f--ing teeth" way.
497. Putting the good in good morning.
498. Your wake up call is now available in cinnamon.
499. Our sense of smell develops before our ears.
500. Because not smelling is not good enough.
501. You can't hear what you smell too strongly.
502. The religion talk deserves some dignity.
503. Dignity for under $4.
504. Consider them thin little strips of self-preservation.
505. In the survival of the fittest, be sure to account for our most primordial sense.
506. Discussing the honeymoon shouldn't be interrupted by a discussion about the next dental appointment.
507. After you see the wedding bill, be sure to take a deep gulp of really fresh air.
508. If Fido thinks its hypocritical that you call it dog breath.
509. Do more than just stand out at job fairs.
510. Introduce yourself with an open smile.
511. Your book club wants to hear your opinion, not smell it.
512. Add a little citrus CO2 to your salsa dancing.
513. The perfect justification to get close.
514. Because looks don't smell.
515. Looks can kill, so can smells.
516. Because your mirror is less forgiving than the girl next door.
517. Make sure the girl next door can't smell you from there.
518. Romance speaks cinnamon.
519. This time try whispering sweet citruses in her hears.
520. The only way you can really check your breath.
521. Its the only way you can smell your own breath.
522. Because good breath should hit you as hard as bad breath.
523. Cinnamolicious power that hits as hard as your bosses cabbage breath.
524. Make the words coming out of your mouth as articulate as they are in the dictionary.
525. Have dictionary breath.
526. Theat Armani taylored suit doesn't mean a thing without Armani taylored breath.
527. Because a second impression can distract people from the first.
528. Pre-refrigirated breath care.
529. Breath strips that remind you of the first breath you ever took.
530. Avoid coming out of your therapist's office with a recommendation to a dentist.
531. Making deep breaths easier.
532. Make them think you ate cinnamon for lunch.
533. According to the ancients, citrus was a gift from the Gods. Give your breath a little something from the heavens.
534. Whisper more than just sweet nothings into her ear.
535. Add a little cool mint sophistication to those half cent words you dropped at work today.
536. Bring something to your words Webster couldn't do.
537. The only pharemones are the ones working in her body once you've had a strip.
538. Raise the temperature by bringing it down.
539. Easier than waiting for ice cubes to freeze.
540. Make your water ice cold without a single ice cube.
541. Makes any drink colder without ice.
542. No wasted time chewing, no wasted energy carrying it around--its amazing they weren't invented by the Germans.
543. Small, portable and extremely powerful. Amazing they weren't invented by the Japanese.
544. Because breath mints should be smelled, not heard.
545. If your pocket had a pocket it would fit there too.
546. Your toothbrush on-demand.
547. Entirely too dangerous to be recommended by the American Dental Association.
548. Temporarily send bad breath in a space pod straight into the center of the sun.
549. The gasp after you've had your first one is actually the screams of millions of germs.
550. The paper thin line between you, and more cinnamony tasting oxygen.
551. Discus your raise without raising the hairs on the inside of your manager's nose.
552. Nothing shows them you care more when you share one.
553. The only one you'll ever need, until the next time you eat something or sleep for more than an hour.
554. Powerful enough to be a pre-meal mint.
555. One before your meal might be enough.
556. Louder than those delicious rat bastard onion rings.
557. Speak louder than what you had at lunch without raising your voice.
558. Don't let the tuna sandwich you had at lunch speak for you during the client meeting.
559. Your lunch should never speak for you.
560. Don't give that cod you had a lunch a voice.
561. The Cod you ate at lunch is dead. Make sure its not rotting in your mouth.
562. Your X factor should be your creativity, not the fish sandwich you had at lunch.
563. Make sure your reputation proceeds you in a minty fresh way.
564. That funny face they make when you say hello is your reputation arriving late.
565. When they say your reputation proceeds you, be confident its not made of kimchee.
566. You shouldn't need close captioning on your presentations.
567. If they've jokingly suggested close captioning during your presentation to the board.
568. Close captioning was only meant for the hearing impared.
569. If you're using close captioning for a roomful of not deaf people.
570. Unusually strong jaw lines aren't necessarily a good thing.
571. Have mercy on your cell phone.
     
572. If bad breath is genetic, consider us the super spider to your mouth's Peter Parker.
573. Stronger than whatever genes you have hindering you from getting laid as much as you'd like to.
574. An inorganic product making your breath smell as inorganic as it should.
575. Despite what you eat, your breath shouldn't be organic.
576. Your breath shouldn't smell organic.
577. The food you eat is organic. So are the muscles in your body. Make sure your breath isn't.
578. Consider them the miniature illegal immigrants who work near light speed to clean the inside of your mouth. That also smell like cinnamon.
579. Discover, invention...act of mothers across the globe?
580. Not as nutritious to the germs in your mouth.
581. Entirely too powerful to be nutritious.
582. Make cinnamon the undisputed heavyweight champion of your mouth.
583. Eliminate the no fly zone your co workers have established in your presence.
584. Recommended after every meal, or 2 hours of sleep.
585. Arm your razor sharp wit with a shield against insecurity.
586. Your wit will arm you, we'll help you disarm them.
587. Your mouth is a war zone. Make sure others haven't instated a no-fly zone around it.
588. Let your lungs do the sucking, not your breath.
589. Turn your carbon footprint into a spearmint one.
590. Mint from the earth freshens your breath which goes into the air, back into the earth and into the mint that freshens your breath, again.
591. Hopefully they're laughing at what you said.
592. God gave us the bodies we have, luckily he gave us ability to make them smell better too.
593. Does language come from the cosmos, or was it man-made? Who cares, just be sure it smells OK.
594. Neither the pen nor the sword can have a minty fresh.
595. Empower your saliva.
596. Start spitting citrus.
597. Making it possible to go from cupcakes to Merlot.
598. America's response to Japanese ginger.
599. Cleanse your palette via disintegration.
600. Make your mouth a middle school science experiment.
601. Get the love you deserve on crowded elevators.
602. Before you melt her heart, melt your breath.
603. Opportunity now comes in 4 easy to carry flavors.
604. Get the whistle that will actually get them to turn around.
605. Whistling at her now serves a purpose.
606. Your whistle will sing.
607. Your whistling deserves a little vibrato.
608. Fido won't be the only one coming after your whistle.
609. Convince your dental hygienist you actually brush three times a day.
610. Shower your mouth with citrus flavored complements.
611. Find it at the checkout counter, or the items from the 22nd century aisle.
612. Make your cab driver wonder who your oral hygienist is.
613. They'll ask you for gum. We recommend suspending their dissolutionment.
614. When they ask you for gum, just tell them you were born with cool mint breath.
615. Because the greatest pickup line is the one that gets used on you.
616. The greatest pickup line is the one you don't have to use.
617. Make breathing your pickup line.
618. How many words is a smell worth?
619. Some people are blind, others are deaf or dumb. But everyone can smell.
620. The blind won't see your cheap suit, the deaf won't hear your 3rd grade vocabulary, but anyone can smell that you had onions at lunch.
621. The punching power of wasabi, the cleansing speed of ginger and the ability to knock the taste of that spicy tuna roll right out of your mouth.
622. Pickup lines work best if you don't have to use them.
623. Start a conversation anywhere.
624. Where God speed meets Gods smell.
625. Make the germs in your mouth inorganic.
626. Because life inside your mouth shouldn't resemble that on other planets.
627. Life on other planets should stay there.
628. The strip you don't use is a defense mechanism.
629. The genetic blueprint to bad breath just met its eraser.
630. Your mouth deserves a vacation.
631. Don't think they can't understand your bad breath in Tahiti.
632. Bad breath is a universal language.
633. Universal languages: Mathematics, baby faces and bad breath.
634. Contrary to your professors, mathematics isn't the only universal language.
635. Air-flavored oxygen isn't your only option anymore.
636. Nasal strips don't make your breath smell good.
637. Its not just bad breath to other people.
638. Whether others smell it or not, you'll never know.
639. Whether they smell it or not, you'll still feel it.
640. No one needs to know your mouth doesn't get along with germs.
641. 30 seconds of gurgling cut down to 3 seconds of eye opening enlightenment.
642. In the ensuing moment of clarity, you'll swear you could remember your past life.
643. After you've had one, even your soul will feel a little lighter.
644. Yoga wishes it worked this fast.
645. Experience the sensation of mountain air with your toes still intact.
646. Emancipation came from the mouth.
647. Being a great speaker is one thing, becoming a great orator takes a little extra something.
648. Make it smell like the truth, even if its not.
649. Emancipation caught on by word of mouth.
650. Word of mouth is our best advertising.
651. Its like an Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt that dissolves instantly, but still gets remembered anytime you can't wear it because it already dissolved.
652. Our produce placement happens more in real life than it does in the movies.
653. Our ads actually happen in real life.
654. They work better in real life than they do in the commercials.
655. There's more to believing than just seeing.
656. In the old days, people chewed on spearmint leaves for their breath. We've packaged the chewing part.
657. Chewing and biting built in.
658. Powerful enough to eat before a meal and still work.
659. Its not food. No thinking necessary.
660. You don't have to chew. Stop thinking.
661. Its bad breath. Stop thinking, stop chewing.
662. If you've never had one before, might as well take off your socks now.
663. The perfect marriage of intensity and even more intensity.
664. Remember, the universe started as a very small thing.
665. Breath controls big bang.
666. The Listerine that all other Listerine exploded out of in the big bang.
667. The massive power of black holes come from something as small as a black hole. Guess size does matter.
668. 2 sizes bigger than a black hole.
669. Can cinnamon escape a black hole? Try and find out.
670. The universe exploded out from tennis ball size and black holes have no volume. Turns out size does matter.
671. Listerine concentrate.
672. For those who like their coffee black, steak rare and onions raw.
673. Show no mercy to that which has (unknowingly) made you merciless to others.
674. The iron core of non-smelly bad breathness.
675. Blwo others away to a wonderful world of cinnamon goodness.
676. Bad breath is noise.
677. Courage is knowing that failure can't succeed.
678. Your lucky charms are funyons. Make them lucky this time by making your tongue forget they were ever there.
679. You like eating when you're nervous before interviews. Stop getting nervous.
680. The deep breath before your interviews.
681. Make the deep breath before your interviews unwavering.
682. Make that last deep breath before the big interview a good one.
683. Take a strong breath of confidence till death does you part.
684. Make sure she knows how confident you are until death does you part.
685. Every big moment deserves a deep breath.
686. The last breath before "marry me" can make all the difference.
687. Because your breathing is important too.
688. During labor, its important for fathers to breath too.
689. You've spent years on the dissertation. Give it a moment of fresh air before its moment of truth before your advisors.
690. A moment of clarity before your moment of truth.
691. Oxygen works better than liquid courage.
692. Its not whats in the package, its whats around it.
693. The most important part of our product is whats around the package, not inside it.
694. Give cleanliness a one up on Godliness.
695. Every moment of truth deserves a moment of breath of clarity.
696. Sometimes you need more than a slap in the face or a splash of cold water.
697. No matter what side of the television you're on, take a deep breath before the biggest game of your life.
698. They're really little strips of oxygen.
699. Make deep breaths something you want to do.
700. Before their big moment, give them a strip of confidence.
701. Confidence never goes out of style.
702. Your newborns sense of smell has been fully developed for months now.
703. Friendliness starts with cleanliness.
704. Greet others the same way our strips greet your mouth.
705. Friendliness is more than just a hello.
706. Vacation is a deep breath away.
707. Allow your breath to take you somewhere your body can't.
708. Remember how it feels to lose yourself.
709. Lose yourself in a breath.
710. Bolster your meditation in new citrus flavor.
711. Because clarity starts with a deep breath.
712. Fog up your mirror with cinnamon.
713. Become your own scented candle.
714. Put an air freshener inside your mouth.
715. A tastier solution than eating poperi with every meal.
716. Hang that pine tree by your tonsils.
717. Remind people of their trip to the Appalachians by breathing.
718. Consider them mint flavored souvenirs from the big bang.
719. Experience the beginning of the universe inside your mouth.
720. In their past life, our strips were supernovas.
721. The reincarnation of stars long dead.
722. Stars have two options when they die. Black hole or spearmint.
723. The stuff at the end of a black hole.
724. What you'll find at the end of a black hole.
725. Sing Ode to Joy without knowing the lyrics.
726. Your mouth will be singing Ode to Joy whether you know the tune or not.
727. Do it justice even if you can't carry a tune.
728. The thrill of the chase is more enjoyable when you know you're fast enough.
729. Make your breath's sparkle match your smile.
730. Skeletons should be in your closet only.
731. Chronic bad breath now has a continuously re-purchasable treatment.
732. Cover your bad breath in death.
733. Breath mints cover your bad breath with mint. Cover yours with death.
734. Part antiseptic, part spearmint, all powerful.
735. Its a good thing your mouth doesn't wear socks.
736. If your mouth smells like its wearing socks--we've got something that will knock them right off.
737. Never want to put your foot in your mouth again.
738. Feel free to put your foot in your mouth anytime.
739. Making motor mouths a little greener.
740. Turning motor mouths into quiet hybrid ones.
741. Make your mood impossible to read.
742. Where greener pastures meet better smelling ones.
743. How motor mouths become air fresheners.
744. Make it spring all year long inside your mouth.
745. Add a little incentive to the person your CPR is trying to revive.
746. Not medically proven to improve CPR effectiveness but we'd like to think you'd rather regain consciousness to spearmint rather than morning breath.
747. 10 out of 10 people revived by CPR prefer coming back to cinnamon over morning breath.
748. Because morning breath won't want to make them be revived.
749. Turn your mouth into a mine field of cinnamon.
750. Where flavor meets futuristic.
751. The atomic fireball for good breath.
752. Spread the word without words.
753. Incadescent lighting doesn't work on your breath.
754. Make your mouth smell like spring and feel like winter.
755. Grow a bed of spearmint on your tongue.
756. Think of it as spear fishing for canned pre-cooked tuna. In your mouth.
757. In the afterlife, bad breath smells like cinnamon. Until then, use cinnamon to send it to hell.
758. Calling poison control shouldn't be your co-workers first instinct when you say good morning.
759. Give back to photosynthesis.
760. Photosynthesis doesn't have to feel be as boring as a 4th grade science book.
761. Oak trees would rather not have to resort to morning breath Co2.
762. Considering we're the only species with some concept of oral hygiene, we should do it for the trees.
763. Post game celebrations shouldn't result in post-traumatic breath syndrome.
764. While your dreaming, your breath isn't.
765. A convenient after coffee, pre-kiss snack.
766. The good kind of SBD.
767. Silent but deadly for your top half can be a good thing.
768. The difference between good breath and great breath is smaller than your smallest pocket.
769. Making even your nasal breaths pleasant.
770. Silence has never smelled better.
771. The preferred choice in breath care for ninjas everywhere.
772. A breath freshener like you've only experienced back in kindergarten when you thought it would be cool to try and eat paper.
773. Makes your breath as cool as it looks.
774. Bring a magical cinnamon quality to all of your kisses.
775. Go from tuna breath, to pacific ocean breath in 2 seconds.
776. The closest science has ever gotten to magic.
777. Purify your walk in closet by breathing in it.
778. Grant your stuffy little attic a visit from the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro.
     
779. In ancient China, scribes chewed on bamboo leaves to keep their breath fresh. Poor bamboo.
780. Unlock the mystical powers of spearmint by putting a filmy strip of plastic like material on your tongue.
781. The kind of power that could only be man made is now available in your mouth.
782. Avalanches are dangerous outside of your mouth.
783. Bad breath comes from all sorts of places. Consider us your ticket away from these places.
784. Your first breath after you have one is more like a gasp.
785. Shocking...true, no journalism involvement.
786. Sell yourself in more senses than one.
787. Market yourself as an integrated sensory experience.
788. When you stand up to the man, make sure his ears take you more seriously than his nose.
789. Where "its just plain offensive" meets, "I'm thinking of going on the offensive for him."
790. They're not gasping for air because of aerobics class. Do something quick.
     
791. The only breath care you can grab mid-air.
792. Make sure your trash talk doesn't smell like it.
793. The air on Earth is 78% nitrogen. Savor the little bit of oxygen you can flavor with our 4 different breath strips.
794. Because your natural breath isn't the kind of fragrance that gives natural a good name.
795. Bridging the gap between stench and scent.
796. You can't do anything about the chemical reactions taking place in other peoples noses.
797. Control other peoples noses by controlling your own mouth.
798. The next evolution in oxygen technology.
799. Remove your breath from your identity.
800. Break its limbs before it crawls into your mouth and dies.

Arthur Tanimoto, CW
Brainco.

How to Submit your 800

Due to growing concerns about whether one can post such a huge volume of text on post reply, we've developed this solution:

All of those wishing to post their headlines (800 or not) please email me so you can be made an author, and can make your own original post with your lines. My email is:

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Rules & Regulations

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Start writing on Monday, July 23rd. Don't stop until Tuesday, July 29th. Post your best 800 headlines.

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